Mike's Best and Worst of 2005

With a minute to the ball drops, Management is sad to report that at the stroke of midnight a stake will be driven through our old dear friend Mike’s heart. For those who have been friends with Mike, this may come as a shock. As we all know, he descended from a booze-free planet and conducted an experiment, the failure of which sent him packing to where he came from. He was happy to leave. But apparently, his ship malfunctioned and he came crashing back down again. Worse, he found that with so much time on our planet, his body had become altered and unfit for life on any planet whatsoever. Accordingly, Management, especially with the tie-breaking vote of that hard-ass Mitchissmo, has decided to act in Our interests, as well as his.

Farewell, Mike. It was grand...sometimes.

At 11:59 on 2005, Mike issued a Summary Report for this tragic calendar year, which We respectfully share:

Best Week: April 6-13
Worst Week: July 14-21.




Best weekend: April 22, also known as Best Birthday Ever. Unfortunately, this date also marks the beginning of the downward spiral in what is now seen as worst year on record.

Best Days: January 2, March 3, June 21, August 9, August 14, September 22, December 6

Most Productive Days: April 6-13, July 29, October 12

Least Productive Days: pretty much all of September

Low Points: October 1, most of autumn

Funnest Nights: April 16, December 10



September 11: worst hangover from September 10, with biggest tales and pictures to prove it.

Other Dates of Bitch-Slapping Note:

September 23: Miscalculation leads to biggest ego bust, destroying record proudly held since 1987. (shit).

Other Bad Days: January 17, February 18, April 27, July 14, November 30

What Mike Learned:
1. There's a reason why some people can't do some things that others can do
2. Losing shit is easy
3. Getting it back is a bitch