Up this River

Mike the river guide told us things we knew not. Like, that badgers had to chew and chew and chew on only certain kinds of trees (yum yum Spruces!) or else their teeth would keep on growing until they couldn't shut their mouths. And that a few weeks ago he rescued a few of Cheney's Secret Service men who were stuck in a log jam, shivering in twenty degree water and near hypothermia. Mike told us he's a jokester when he sees big burly guys with hypothermia:

Mike: I'll pick you guys up, but it's 50 bucks a head

[the secret service guys look at each other]

Secret Serviceman #1: He's got the credit card.

Secret Serviceman #2: Yeah, you can ring it when we get back.

Mike: I'm kidding guys, hop in.
[he hoists the shivering lugs up into the raft.]

Possibly, he may have noticed then that their boat was Park Ranger property, but Mike looked the other way.

Ah, how Dick showers privilege.



Like many human beings, most of the time I am too numb and/or dull to get into nature. But I can be pulled. I like furry things, and while I am against hunting, sit me down with a well spoken hunter I can see things his way too. Yes on deer, no on moose and Grizzlies (although, damn!).

It's all surprisingly well thought out. Black Bears get tags on the ears for messing up around people-- stealing food at their camp sites and stuff. Green tag on one ear for first warning, something on the other ear for second warning, and third-- well, I think the assumption is um, a shot or two without tranquilizers.

From what Mike says, it's a balance thing.