30 Things You Wouldn't Know Without the Movies
I heard this somewhere, and so as I add movie 244 to my Netflix queue, I shall share with you the list of "30 Things You Wouldn't Know Without the Movies" (feel free to add examples):
1. It's easy for anyone to land a plane, providing there is someone in
the control tower to talk you down.
2. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.
3. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
4. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the
armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.
5. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect .
No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to
any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
6. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer
beast, the mayor's first concern will be the tourist trade or his
forthcoming art exhibition.
7. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a
bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
8. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night,
you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.
9. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you
personally at that precise moment.
10. A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of Wembley Stadium.
11. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
12. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are
visiting, even in New York or London.
13. A detective can only solve a case once he/she has been suspended from duty.
14. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight
involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you
one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have
knocked out their predecessors.
15. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make
sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
16. An electric fence powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no
lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
17. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
18. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending
phone conversations.
19. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
20. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road it is necessary to
turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.
21. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.
22. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war - unless you
make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
23. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but
will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
24. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a
passing St. Patrick's Day parade -- at any time of the year.
25. Your arch enemy will always tell you exactly how he plans to kill
you when captured and leave you with some sort of escape route
26. SWAT Teams and trained snipers will never hit their targets the first time.
27. Anyone with no computer education or training is capable of cracking complex encryption algorithms, ...... inside 60 seconds.
28. Another user on a network is capable of wiping out the contents of
your DOS edit buffer, while you have the document in front of you on a
monitor, and the monitor will instantly respond to this.
29. Top Secret confidential information can be downloaded from the
Internet because Top Secret agencies have no firewalls to stop hackers.
30. Whenever a computer malfunctions, smoke will pour and sparks will
always fly from the keyboard, monitor, and any LED in the same room.
7 Comments:
When in an emergency situation and asking for someone to call an ambulance you must observe the three second rule of urgency, as in: "SOMEBODY CALL AN AMUBLANCE... (3, 2, 1)... NOW!
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
The Chief of Police will almost always suspend his star detective -- or give
him 48 hours to finish the job.
It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone to talk you
down.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts
so you know exactly when they are going to go off.
If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if
you haven't been carrying any before now.
Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning
even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.
Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames
All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555
When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will
still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.
Large, loft-style apartments in New York are within the price range of most
people, whether they are employed or not.
When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never
suffer a concussion or brain damage
No one ever involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption
or alien invasion will ever go into shock
You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds -- unless
it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days
before their retirement.
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch enemies
using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses,
lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20
minutes to escape.
If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before
long.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all
the steps.
All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread
...but in the very next post you claim to not have a TV?
J (whose Netflix queue is up to 280-strong, and alternates between "Finally!" and "WTF?!" upon opening the magic little red envelope...)
J, you are sooooo RIGHT!!! Wow, I gotta WATCH IT!
I use the phrase "TV" to mean the reception of television programs, which I do not have-- it is, in fact, a blue screen. BUT, i do have a Tv in the sense of a monitor.
I took artistic license to swap own with the more clunky "nor do I own a television unit which is capable, at this junctur in time, to transmit the waves necessary to bring televesion programming."
PLEASE forgive me!!!
-Creepy Sounds or music coming from a graveyard must be investigated
-If there's a big party and everybody hears a creepy sound, only 1 person can go investigate in the basement
Whenever sombody says "I'll be right back", they won't.
When investigating dark suspicious buildings with your partner, always go one at a time, and if your partner doesn't come back, you should go reclessly in after them without calling for backup.
Badguys will never jump down at you until after you look up.
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